Tender moments call for intentional patterns of communicating. Let's look at these three steps to better seek to respond rather than react.

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Step 1:

Breathe. Bring all your attention to the soles of your feet to ground yourself.

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Step 2:

The second intentional pattern of communicating is Mindful listening: Be present to your partner and “listen under” the words. What is your partner really trying to communicate?

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Step 3:

The third intentional pattern of communicating is Mindful speech: choose your words intentionally. More “I” statements and fewer “you” statements. This sets the tone for responsibility rather than blame.

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When is the right time to seek couples therapy?
Sooner rather than later. Most concerns begin as small, seemingly low grade concerns. But, like a low grade fever, they can escalate and quickly become sizable blocks in the relationship. Seeking couples therapy early can help resolve an issue while it’s a still a small issue requiring a small adjustment.